Monday, May 14, 2012

Paul and the Angels

I walked over to my mailbox to retrieve the day's mail while Malachy Dachshund barked impatiently in the car. Inside the mailbox, was a small beige envelope from my friend Lorraine Brustas. I opened it immediately as I had been waiting to receive the lovely celebration of life card of her husband and my dear friend Paul.

Paul had made his transition earlier this year after an arduous battle with brain cancer-he was only in his late 50's... The card graced a photo of Paul's ever-smiling face on the front. Tears welled in my eyes as I remembered Paul. I had known him since I was about 14 years old growing up in San Diego and he was a close friend of my Mom's and our family. He was like a big brother to me. He was THE kindest, gentlest, most patient and one of the wisest men I have ever been blessed to know in this life! He always had a cheerful outlook and had that great big Greek smile that lit up every room he entered! In fact, my Mom and all of us affectionately nick-named him "Paul-the-Greek." 

Later in Paul's life, he met and married the love of his life, Lorraine and they enjoyed many happy years together, but of course not enough years. I had not been in touch with Paul since my step-Dad Donn passed away back in 2002. We managed to reconnect via that wonderful cyber entity known as Facebook early in 2011. I was so glad to have the chance to speak with him on the phone last year as we shared our experiences, and hopes for healing. (I was and still am recovering from multiple injuries from a fall I had on the job in 2010.) Paul was very open-minded and did not want to go the "chemo and radiation" route as he had seen so many of his friends including my Mom lose their lives with this horrid "option."  I admired his courage as he shared with me about his consultation with a Chinese Grand Master healer. The Grand Master gave Paul a prescription for drinking several cups a day of a wild conglomeration of herbal teas that had such a repugnant odor, it gave a whole new meaning to the term "witches brew!" 

I thought about Paul often all throughout last year and was setting forth the intention of enjoying visiting him and meeting his angel wife, Lorraine in San Diego in 2012. I visualized him as a healed and whole man- it was my sincere prayer...Then in January of this year I got the devastating news from Lorraine that Paul had passed away. It really rocked me. Again I cried tears of deep loss and anguish for what might have been...

After reading Paul's celebration of life card, I decided to take Malachy Dachshund to a local park. Since my hip and shoulder injuries from my fall in 2010, I could no longer take Malachy for walks, so I did the next best thing which was to take him out for some fresh air while holding onto his Flexi-leash with my uninjured left arm and giving him some much needed freedom to romp in the grass. Being the little hound that he is, with an expert nose, he began sniffing obsessively at a patch of tall reeds. I tried luring him in like a  fishing reel with a prize catch, but to no avail. So I walked over to where he was "pointing"-yes, he actually thinks he's a Pointer and it's the cutest thing ever to see him "point!" I parted the reeds to find a very intricately designed bird's nest holding a total of nine white eggs. The eggs were a dull matte finish and perfectly undisturbed! 

Malachy left disappointed that he could not have an evening appetizer of fresh eggs and I walked away in awe as we headed back to the car. When I turned on the radio, what song comes on but "Old Time Rock & Roll" by none other than Michigan legend, Bob Seger! I immediately thought of my friend Paul and turned up the volume in his honor as Paul loved Bob Seger with as much passion as I love U2! As I was driving, I began to smell a highly floral, sweet Honeysuckle type of fragrance and began to sneeze several times. It was so odd as all of my windows in the car were up and I was not wearing any cologne. Nor was I near any flowers in the park! I began to sense that my angels were with me-it was very soothing to my soul.

When I arrived home, I immediately went to my trusty Mac laptop and researched the symbolism behind bird's nests and nine eggs as I have held a life-long fascination with all things symbolic and metaphysical, believing that the Universe always speaks to us if we'd but listen, hear, see, and smell... to my excitement, I discovered a link that said "The number nine represents the inspiration and perfection of ideas." (I had recently been asking the Divine for inspiration and motivation to begin writing a children's book!) also, "The number nine was considered sacred in Greece." Key word... "Greece" cha-ching! My friend Paul was 100% Greek! The link went on to say that the number nine also represented nine choruses of angels and "beseeches us to recognize our own internal attributes and extend these abilities out into the world." Again, this spoke directly to me about getting the ball rolling to write my book and share my message of hope to children. Everything the link stated was such a clear confirmation to me, a "God-wink" if you will to START writing!

Finally, I looked up bird's nest and eggs symbolism and found bird's nests to represent: "Prosperous endeavor" and "Fortune and new opportunities." Perfect! I thought... Eggs proved to be a logical symbol of fertility and birth, as well as "Life's potential" and "Dormant talent." While making dinner that evening, I pondered the day's synchronistic events knowing that nothing in this world happens by accident and fully realizing that Paul was with me, my angels were with me, and again, Spirit gave me plenty of signs that I am indeed living a life of purpose!


***UPDATE!!!- Since this story was posted, I have corresponded with Paul's wife, Lorraine and she informed me that "Despite Paul's many allergies, he used to love the smell of Honeysuckle growing outside the window of our home." There's NO DOUBT in my mind that this entire day I have written about, from the moment I received Lorraine's card honoring Paul, to finding the bird's nest with 9 eggs in it, to hearing Paul's favorite singer, Bob Seger on the radio, to smelling honeysuckle in my car- having ALL of these events take place on the same afternoon, that Paul was... like Bob Seger used to sing, "accompanying me!!!"

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Trees Know

The trees are all wise
As everyone knows...
That life always continues
And everything grows.

For there is always something
So fresh and new
With each and every Spring
Every flowering bloom.

As trees change their form
With every new season
They show- life's forever
There's always a reason.

As trees change colors
From green leaves to red,
So do people who have "died"
For they are really not dead.

Everything changes form
The soul loves to fly
For life is never-ending
And the soul doesn't die.

Companions


"Is this all there is?"
I said to myself...
"Is this what I signed up for?"
"Is my life on the shelf?"

Beauty is everywhere
When I look outside
But it's so lonely with no one
To share it by my side.

I know he is out there...
He's waiting for me
With trust and sure faith,
Very soon, I shall see.

I know I'm not alone
I need only go within
Or look into my little dog's eyes
To see God's gentle grin.

Animals need companions
Others of their own kind...
Humans are no different
Desiring someone of like mind.

They say, "No man's an island."
Took me a while to see
That I need to share my life
With someone besides me
Where is he?

Dreams Coming True


Watching, waiting, contemplating...
The next move will be the best move
Where dreams come true- we've been waiting so long.

My little dog and I
For our very own castle
Our own home to buy.

It's truly our turn;
Joy is coming our way...
There'll be a yard with organic veggies
And a place for Mal to play.

Our own piece of heaven
With our own four walls...
With great, quiet neighbors
No screaming kid down the halls!

Something to own 
And decorate to my wishes
A table for four
With bright-colored dishes.

Every woman's home is her castle
This I know is true
For there are many mansions
And one's exactly right for you!

Thoughts on Home...


Home is where the warm, quiet stillness within my heart radiates outward...

Home is tangible... 


It's coming home to my vinyl-sided pale yellow castle and being bombarded with wet, sloppy kisses painted onto my cheeks from  a pair of little red hounds who have been longing for me to return from the day's adventures.

Home is where my organic veggie food grows in the backyard, sprouting up from the Earth to greet the warm Sun or thirstily drink in the raindrops on a grey October day.

At Home is where I dance on hardwood floors to rhythmic beats of Bono singing "Surrender" from 1983. Home IS surrendering...

Where we cuddle on the over-sized velvety  sofa with our  arms wrapped around each other, enthralled with a new release movie.

Home is where the fragrance of sweet Banana Nut bread baking in my oven permeates the entire house while candlelight glows in tandem with the full moonlight beaming brightly through  living room windows.

Home is Spiritual...
It comes along wherever I take my Being to places that are joy-filled. It is the stillness during a meditation when my eyes are closed and life in the physical world slows down and the dull roar becomes a gentle whisper...

Home is where the trees rustle as the wind of Spirit playfully tickles their leaves.

Home is the sea with blue-green waves sweeping the sandy shore as I inhale the intoxicating salty sea air!

Where seagulls plant their orange, spindly feet upon my lightly sunburned shoulders as they plead to me with those piercing all-knowing Avian eyes for "some of what I'm having."-And then, Home is when I "give in." 

Home is the company of family, not necessarily blood relatives, but my tribe of people and creatures that I have a history with. Where I am emotionally embraced and supported without judgement. 

Most of all, Home is Love... it's wherever I AM and I AM  everywhere I take me!


Friday, March 30, 2012

Spring is Here and New Dreams Come With It!

Well, I feel as tho I have weathered the greater part of my "storm" although the storm is not quite over yet, however I can see light at the end of the tunnel so to speak! My Mom's birthday is coming up on Monday, April 2nd and this has given me the wonderful idea to *finally* begin writing my first book on her birthday, in her honor. Mom used to love to write poetry and writing in general as well as having a true fondness for children. The book I am going to write is Divinely inspired (aren't they ALL LOL...) by a gift given to me by my Mom. What makes this gift so special is that it was given to me AFTER my Mom made her transition back to non-physical in 1993! The book will revolve around the Snowy Owl (see my snowy owl story in this blog at an earlier date.) This is going to be great fun and I just know my Mom will be helping me to write it! Happy Spring everyone!

Sunday, February 19, 2012

At the End of the Trail....

I haven't written a new blog post in what seems like eons, but here we go! My life has been extremely fast-paced and full of major changes in the past year or so. In 2011, I moved twice, after not being able to keep my Clarkston apt, when after being seriously injured at work in 2010 from a fall,( worker's comp decided I was magically cured and didn't really still need 2 surgeries)- I moved into an acquaintance's trailer home and then after 2 months, was told I would have to move out 30 days later, by January 1st 2012.This really threw me as she had previously told me I could stay "as long as I needed to", and that she "couldn't ask for a better roommate..." I spent a fast and furious week immediately after Christmas in 24/7 prayer and vigilantly searched craigslist, newspapers, and drove through neighborhoods to find a place to live. I found (or rather God found) an apt in Wolverine Lake that was relatively quiet and accepted dogs. (Not allowing dogs would have been a deal breaker!). I filled out the application and waited and waited to hear back from the independent landlord to let me know if I could have the apt or not. I made a full-time job of correcting my fear-filled thoughts and focused on only the positive as I was wrestling with the anxiety knowing that my FICO credit score went from mid 600's a year before when I had $5,000 in the bank and was working with a realtor to buy a house to the high 500's now. Since my slip and fall that occurred in May of 2010, my whole life has been rearranged. Gone are all the things I thought were important or valuable to have in my life including people I thought were friends, furniture, apt's, clothes, TV's. I have come to see and know that if someone or something is no longer a part of my life, then God is going to replace them with something far better. I like to refer to 2011 (after getting through the grief of all the losses and feeling like it was THE worst year of my entire life.) as the year that the Universe rearranged my life so that I could gain clearer vision and focus on the things and people that bring me more joy! I am no longer willing to subject myself or take part in anything that does not bring me joy! Period. End of story.
 Life is very short, and I believe we must LIVE a happy life, not spend the majority of it in "pursuit" of happiness! My life is now, not tomorrow, not yesterday, but now. NOW is all we have, but you know, it is more than enough! I am not "out of the woods" yet, but I can definitely see the lake at the end of the trail!